In My House

My heart and my brain live in the same house, but like most siblings, there are times they just do not agree with each other. Their diametric views of things often leading to arguments and bickering. Although they are both fully committed to the happiness and success that keeps the home alive and safe, they do not always see eye to eye. Over the years, a true champion has never emerged. They have both been wrong just as often as they have been right. No clear leader has stepped to the forefront.

And today has been no different. It all started when fate introduced me to a beautiful, young woman. My eyes cried out to the rest of the body, “My God, are you all seeing what I am seeing?” The heart and brain replied in unison, “Of course we do, you are the only windows in this place. Calm down and try not to stare you two idiots. We will take it from here.” The heart and brain have never been able to truly rely on what the eyes were seeing or on their judgement. They are great at looking out, but horrible at looking within. And they often see only what they want to see, disregarding even the obvious at times. They cannot be trusted.

The eyes did what they could to not stare, but it was hard not to follow this beautiful woman around the room. The heart and brain have always wrestled with controlling the eyes, but on their own they could do little more than give away our interest. And the heart and brain were experts at that type of damage control by now.

Eventually an introduction was provided, and this beauty stood right in front of the house. The eyes could no longer not stare, or more accurately, just couldn’t look away. But the brain and heart were on high alert and ready to take over the proceedings. Conversation ensued and the mouth decided it was time to get involved.

The heart and brain do their best to control the mouth, but at times, like the eyes, it runs under its own steam. It also struggles when the directions from the heart and brain do not mesh perfectly. And rarely do the two fully agree on anything. The brain tries to take over, but alas the mouth is forced to stumble awkwardly through the brief conversation. The heart chiming in and trying to talk over the brain constantly. The eyes can do nothing but watch, as the mouth fails to be witty or engaging. The internal debate so loud, that at the end of the conversation, neither the heart nor the brain knows exactly what was said by the mouth. The mouth is notorious for getting the rest of them in trouble. But, as with the eye’s shortcomings, the heart and brain are well-versed in damage control for the mouth.

As the conversation ends, the beautiful woman touches my hand and says, “It was a pleasure to meet you.” A broad smile crossing her full lips. Her eyes piercing and lovely. And my eyes strain themselves in the appreciation of her form as she walks away.

And the clamoring begins.

The hand yells to the rest, “Did you feel that?”

“Feel what?” asks the brain.

“That spark when she touched us”, answers the hand.

“Don’t be silly”, the brain scolds the hand.

“I thought I felt something too”, chimes in the heart.

“You’re both idiots”, concludes the brain.

“I am telling you I felt something”, insists the heart.

“You feel everything, you silly heart”, admonished the brain. “Calm down, the eyes and hands are conspiring against us. They have no understanding of intent and are easily swayed with common pleasantries. We alone must stay vigilant and strong to protect the house.”

“I am telling you I felt something, you big lump of grey matter”, insisted the heart. “Maybe you are too busy with other things to notice, but I know what I felt.”

And the eyes add, “And we know what we saw.”

The hand piles onto the assault of the brain with, “I told you so.”

They all work cohesively to move the house through the rest of the evening, putting aside the argument to perform the basic functions that are necessary for simple survival. Though the low murmur of discontent never completely fades.

The evening passes by and when there is little left for the body to do, the argument heats up again. The eyes and hands stay silent, having little else to offer the debate. But the heart and brain are still in turmoil with each other.

The brain reminds the heart of all the times it has felt something similar and been so wrong in its perception. The heart reminds the brain of what it felt like in the times it had been right about these types of things. Both sides making valid points and unwilling to concede. In most situations, the brain just outlasts the heart and the heart gives up sadly. The heart has become accustomed to being bested by the brain; it has just never been happy about it when it happens.

In a last-ditch effort, the heart calls on their other sibling. This sibling is strong and used to fighting to get its way. It has a primitive strength that can overpower even the best arguments from the brain. It has been decisive in many conflicts between the two. It is both feared and respected for its ancient ancestry and focus of purpose. Even the heart worries a little in calling this supporter of its wants forward. The brain sees this family member as nothing but an animal.

And so, the beast rears its ugly head, strolls into the argument, and sets the heart and brain straight. The libido slaps the brain into submission. It tells the heart to hold on tight. Once uncaged, it is hard to stop. The rest can only hold on and hope for the best. The eyes return to alert to seek her out in the room and fix upon her with a lustful glint. The libido now controls the limbs. If forces the legs to move in her direction, devises its own conversation, devoid of any help from the brain, and makes the mouth ask this beautiful woman out on a date. The hands simply sweat and flail about, not knowing where they should be. She agrees to the date and the libido swells with pride. The body functions just enough to exchange contact information and walk away, the shaking and unsteadiness hopefully unnoticed. The heart and brain could only standby and watch while the animal took over. Neither feeling any victory, but they were at least on the same page for now. They were both consumed with anxiety about what the libido had just gotten them all into. Neither knowing just who was responsible for the beaming smile, now struck to the front of the house. The brain and the heart tighten their grip in anticipation of their next rollercoaster ride, falling silent as the terror precludes any further debate for the moment.

By popular request, the sequel to this story can be found in the post: My Dirty House

10 Responses to “In My House”
  1. meenawalia says:

    Interesting way to explain.loved it..

  2. edward dougherty says:

    A fun read….. will be waiting on the sequel

  3. What an engaging and enlightening way to tell us the male side of human nature! I’m left wondering if this is pure fiction, pure truth, or somewhere in the middle. Any which way, I enjoyed this read a lot, and, like Ed, I am hoping for a sequel!

  4. edward dougherty says:

    While reading your first “house” installment I couldn’t help but think I’ve heard this story before or at least the basis of the story.

    Now as I read your second Installment i cant help but to conjure up images of “Forbidden Planet” in my mind.

    Just goes to show you great minds think alike. Will be hoping for a future installment of “House”

    • Brad Osborne says:

      Now that you mention it, I too can see the parallels to “Forbidden Planet”. We never hear the conflict between Ego or Id in the film, but to give from to the subconscious is not unique. It also reminds me of the 2015 Pixar movie where we meet the characters that constitute young Riley’s persona. The banter between them is the funny bone of the film. Thanks for reading and playing along Ed!

Check out what others are saying...
  1. […] sequel to “In My House”, as requested by my […]

  2. […] free to read the prequels to this story at “In My House” and “My Dirty […]

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