Maiden Voyage
Fifty-two tons, one of the unsinkable ones
The proud flag ship of the White Star Line
With Captain Smith true and a seasoned crew
Left Queenstown for the New York skyline
But the captain didn’t know that the fires below
Were more than the common occurrence
The hull became frail in the miles they sailed
In the end, that would make all the difference
The lookouts worked hard, the only light stars
On a night that was cold and forbidding
But they did not see the iceberg set free
Hidden beneath still seas unforgiving
Then it was too late to avoid their fate
As ghostly ice gouged the hull wide and deep
The stokers knew first, as steel bulkheads burst
They were headed to an eternal sleep
The tragic fail, lifeboats hung at the rail
Hoped salvation that could not be lowered
And as water rushed in, raising panic and din
The North Sea came for what was owed her
What sealed their fate, how light scintillates
As scared signalman flashes passing ship
Distant twinkling light on such a starry night
Not seen as beyond horizon they slipped
The sea it is said, never gives up her dead
Tragic souls are gathered like plunder
But in the demise, saved spirits do rise
As the behemoth slowly slips under
There below the waves, the ones left unsaved
As what they said could never happen did
An icy deep shrine, forgotten to time
Where all the mariner’s failures stay hid
What amazing work this poem is! Having seen the movie Titanic more than once, your words described the actual visualizations that were on the screen! I am beyond WOWWED!
Thank you dear sister! Putting any humility on hold for a moment, I think this is one of my strongest endeavors. I have submitted it for publication, but that is always an iffy situation. I would settle for a receptive response here and worry that anything less may be crushing to my spirit. So, thank you for being so reassuring!
BRAD!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ This is friggin' AMAZING!!!!!! I loved the story like flow throughout the poem, the visual images it brought forth in my mind were heart wrenching. You are excellent at inflicting emotions. Beautifully done!! Bravo!!
Thank you so kindly for checking it out. I had hoped I hit on something, but I never really know anymore. I needed your sounding board before I got silly and queried anyone about publication. Thanks for all your kindnesses! ❤
I definitely think you should look into publication, this truly is amazing and pulls on the heartstrings, I think it’s something everyone can relate to. I mean, everyone knows the story of the Titanic!! You have no reason to doubt yourself, Brad. You’re writing is incredible and you are a master of words, but I get it. I struggle with it too, I never quite know if my writing is as good as I hope it is. Feel free to email me any time you want a second set of eyes. I’d be happy to help, and if you’re interested, maybe do a collaboration one day! ❤
Thank you! I knew you would understand the difficulty in determining if some success lies within your words. I will certainly take advantage of your offer for a second pair of eyes, and a beautiful pair they are. And, I would love to do a collaboration one day. I am excited at the idea. You focus on work for now and we will get together when things calm. But I won’t let you forget. 😊
Yes, please feel free to remind me. Things will calm down in mid April, so maybe we can plan for then! And thank you for the sweet compliment, my friend! ❤
Nicely done Brad. You can-envision the chaos taking place and fill the frigid cold of the water. Great poetic phrases. Love ya Joni
Thank you, dear Joni! You are so very kind with you words and support. Love ya back! ❤
wonderful poem; I wish you the best with your submission!
Thank you, Jim! That is the part of all this I just do not find fun!
Wow! Beautiful Brad, a great homage to the Titanic, with tremendous images and a vivid reminder of such a tragic event. Great work my friend!
Thank you, Francisco! This is one of the few compositions, that when completed, I was truly happy with! Thanks for your continued and honest support!
It is a composition to be proud of. You are welcome and it’s always a pleasure Brad
Amazing work!! 💓
You are too kind! 😘