Push



~~~

Feeling once abandoned

Leaves a permanent stain

A constant haunting fear

That no one will remain

~~~

You hold those dear so close

Paying all and any cost

And then you drown again

When, they too are lost

~~~

Over and over repeated

Belief becomes well frayed

And every time it happens

You feel even more betrayed

~~~

What you cannot easily see

In the history so oft replayed

Is all the times the one you loved

Did not leave, but was pushed away

~~~

For the fears within you now

Of being hurt once again

Powered by the striking first

And causing the love to end

~~~

It still hurts to lose them

But you feel more in control

It would have ended any way

Is what you tell your soul

~~~

And all the pain of those years

Is burdened on a single heart

Whose love for you unbounded

Is doomed from the very start

~~~

If lose at love you must

Then it will be your way

Another war is won against

The heart that would have stayed

~~~



Comments
28 Responses to “Push”
  1. “For the fears within you now…” I remember telling you not that long ago about how I would do something to make the other person in a relationship to leave me, so that I could at least control WHEN the other shoe would drop, because I always believed it would. That paragraph really hit home with me. I feel like you were writing this about that conversation.

    • Brad Osborne says:

      I am sure part of what you shared of your own experiences have found their way into these words. But some is pulled from others who have the same trait too. It is ironic that we so desire control when in reality we have so little. Thanks, sis!

  2. sudrakarma says:

    ‘It still hurts to lose them
    But you feel more in control
    It would have ended any way
    Is what you tell your soul’

    Oh man, you’re still tapping that vein. I remember feeling like this. At the time I was listening to Beck Hanson’s “Morning Phase”. If you’d like a gut-punch with that broken heart, that’s your soundtrack. Great work.

  3. K.L. Hale says:

    Wow, Brad. This is beautiful and poignant. Fear definitely pushes out that which love could overcome, given another chance. I understand this! Have a beautiful day my friend. 💛🤗

    • Brad Osborne says:

      Thank you, Karla! And I hope your day is as beautiful as you are! 🌹

      • K.L. Hale says:

        Aww, you’re welcome, Brad. And thank you! Today is my favorite day! I have the pleasure of working with the adults who are very special! My background is special education. I have a niece with Cerebral Palsy and a disabled older sister. And I, too, experienced this. It’s in my heart and soul to be there for these marginalized individuals that have the biggest hearts of any humans I know! So yes! I celebrate Thursdays and the other days I get to see my “little” special friends. May your day be a blessing just as YOU are! ♥️♥️🤗🙌🏻

  4. beth says:

    fear is the greatest enemy of love, and also the hardest to overcome

  5. I can totally relate to your words Brad; been a while I read any poem or work, but like always, I first started with my favourite; that’s yours and this very poem resonated with my feelings. Always a pleasure to read your work my friend!

  6. Beautiful words and sentiment Brad. But life is an arrow travelling fast and forward and we’re all arrows single and alone as spirits in the universe, no one is attached cause even the only think that linked us to our mother was cut at birth. Peace my friend.

  7. Jim Borden says:

    I guess some people don’t like the feeling of too much intimacy. it can be frightening to open yourself up to possible rejection and hurt…

  8. petespringerauthor says:

    Beautifully expressed, Brad!

  9. kristianw84 says:

    Hauntingly beautiful, and true for so many.

  10. jonicaggiano says:

    You are right being truly devastated over a lost love can take a while. I still dream about my first love who left me. However without risk there might never be one to love. Just when I thought I would never love again I met my husband. Trust me it is worth the risk. Sending love and hugs, Jonikins

    • Brad Osborne says:

      I may be skeptical of true love, but I am no longer devastated by anything in the past. I do not long for any past loves. We had our moment, but if things ended then I am only interested in a new path. I cannot walk the same road and hope for a different destination. Thank you, my friend!

  11. jonicaggiano says:

    I don’t long for any past loves either as I was only seventeen when he broke up with me. So that was many life times ago. To be stuck in the past is not a healthy thing anyway, but for me he was my escape from my parents and my crazy life and the only one who showed me love. You are right my friend we should always be moving forward. Big hugs and blessing to you Brad, love Jonikens – by the way I don’t remember if I congratulated you on being nominated by SpillWords for your beautiful piece. I certainly gave you my vote! xoxoxo

    • Brad Osborne says:

      Thank you Jonikins! To be honest, it had been a while and I actually forgot I submitted it. It was a pleasant surprise. And thank you for your vote, love, and constant support!

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