Push
~~~
Feeling once abandoned
Leaves a permanent stain
A constant haunting fear
That no one will remain
~~~
You hold those dear so close
Paying all and any cost
And then you drown again
When, they too are lost
~~~
Over and over repeated
Belief becomes well frayed
And every time it happens
You feel even more betrayed
~~~
What you cannot easily see
In the history so oft replayed
Is all the times the one you loved
Did not leave, but was pushed away
~~~
For the fears within you now
Of being hurt once again
Powered by the striking first
And causing the love to end
~~~
It still hurts to lose them
But you feel more in control
It would have ended any way
Is what you tell your soul
~~~
And all the pain of those years
Is burdened on a single heart
Whose love for you unbounded
Is doomed from the very start
~~~
If lose at love you must
Then it will be your way
Another war is won against
The heart that would have stayed
~~~
commonsensiblyspeaking 
“For the fears within you now…” I remember telling you not that long ago about how I would do something to make the other person in a relationship to leave me, so that I could at least control WHEN the other shoe would drop, because I always believed it would. That paragraph really hit home with me. I feel like you were writing this about that conversation.
I am sure part of what you shared of your own experiences have found their way into these words. But some is pulled from others who have the same trait too. It is ironic that we so desire control when in reality we have so little. Thanks, sis!
Lovely share
Thank you kindly, Tanvir!
‘It still hurts to lose them
But you feel more in control
It would have ended any way
Is what you tell your soul’
Oh man, you’re still tapping that vein. I remember feeling like this. At the time I was listening to Beck Hanson’s “Morning Phase”. If you’d like a gut-punch with that broken heart, that’s your soundtrack. Great work.
Thank you, Sudra! It has been a while since I felt this way, but these feelings are some you never forget.
Wow, Brad. This is beautiful and poignant. Fear definitely pushes out that which love could overcome, given another chance. I understand this! Have a beautiful day my friend. 💛🤗
Thank you, Karla! And I hope your day is as beautiful as you are! 🌹
Aww, you’re welcome, Brad. And thank you! Today is my favorite day! I have the pleasure of working with the adults who are very special! My background is special education. I have a niece with Cerebral Palsy and a disabled older sister. And I, too, experienced this. It’s in my heart and soul to be there for these marginalized individuals that have the biggest hearts of any humans I know! So yes! I celebrate Thursdays and the other days I get to see my “little” special friends. May your day be a blessing just as YOU are! ♥️♥️🤗🙌🏻
fear is the greatest enemy of love, and also the hardest to overcome
Thank you, Beth! Fear is a powerful thing.
I can totally relate to your words Brad; been a while I read any poem or work, but like always, I first started with my favourite; that’s yours and this very poem resonated with my feelings. Always a pleasure to read your work my friend!
Thank you, V! Stay strong, my friend!
Welcome Brad, take care
Beautiful words and sentiment Brad. But life is an arrow travelling fast and forward and we’re all arrows single and alone as spirits in the universe, no one is attached cause even the only think that linked us to our mother was cut at birth. Peace my friend.
That is a beautiful perspective, Francisco! Thank you for sharing that!
Thank you Brad and you are very welcome, all the best to you from a rainy and very cold Mediterranean coast of Spain!
I guess some people don’t like the feeling of too much intimacy. it can be frightening to open yourself up to possible rejection and hurt…
It is frightening to open yourself up to possible rejection and hurt, but there also seems no way to avoid it other than choosing to be alone. Thank you for your insights, Jim!
for many people, that is a tough choice…
Beautifully expressed, Brad!
Thank you, Pete! I appreciate you.
Hauntingly beautiful, and true for so many.
Thank you, Kristian! Though most who act this way rarely see it for themselves. Have a great weekend!
You are right being truly devastated over a lost love can take a while. I still dream about my first love who left me. However without risk there might never be one to love. Just when I thought I would never love again I met my husband. Trust me it is worth the risk. Sending love and hugs, Jonikins
I may be skeptical of true love, but I am no longer devastated by anything in the past. I do not long for any past loves. We had our moment, but if things ended then I am only interested in a new path. I cannot walk the same road and hope for a different destination. Thank you, my friend!
I don’t long for any past loves either as I was only seventeen when he broke up with me. So that was many life times ago. To be stuck in the past is not a healthy thing anyway, but for me he was my escape from my parents and my crazy life and the only one who showed me love. You are right my friend we should always be moving forward. Big hugs and blessing to you Brad, love Jonikens – by the way I don’t remember if I congratulated you on being nominated by SpillWords for your beautiful piece. I certainly gave you my vote! xoxoxo
Thank you Jonikins! To be honest, it had been a while and I actually forgot I submitted it. It was a pleasant surprise. And thank you for your vote, love, and constant support!