My Dirty House

A sequel to “In My House”, as requested by my readers.

The brain, being the primary caregiver throughout the day, has remained somewhat in charge after the events of a few evenings ago. It appears that after taking control and securing a date with the beautiful woman, the libido has since crawled back into its cave to eat raw meat and fear the dark. The brain has chosen to focus on daily routine to keep the body busy and the heart quiet.

But the heart is never fully without some control. Against the advice of the brain, the heart has enjoyed the fun text messages exchanged with the young lady. He has expressed his own interests and passions with just a touch of wit stolen from the brain. The brain does not keep track of wit. Either it is available or its not, and no one ever knows the restocking schedule, so it is hard to inventory. Of course, anytime the messages slant the least bit flirtatious, the libido begins to rouse and murmur. Usually, the brain can just lullaby it back to sleep or feign the need for immediate attention elsewhere. The libido is highly susceptible to fight or flight alarms.

The eyes and hands are fully aware of their explicit involvement in the heart’s dealings, but the body is conscript to the whims of the other three and always has been. If the body is doing things on its own, without the guidance of the brain, heart, or libido, then something has gone terribly wrong.

Now, with the date only a day away, you can hear the orchestra tuning up in the pit, ready to score the next epic battle. The libido senses the impending closeness with this stunning woman and begins to roam around outside his cave. He is not in full animal mode yet, but he does want to see what the brain and heart have been up to.

The brain, “I have put off doing laundry and cleaning for a while, maybe that would be a productive use of my time.”

“I want to write something or go for a ride,” spouts the heart.

“We have done that the past few days, that is why the laundry and cleaning is still waiting,” the brain reminds the heart.

“But the weather is perfect, and the riding season will soon be over.” The heart knows the brain has trouble with this simple logic sometimes.

“Hold on a second,” chimes in the libido. “I agree with the brain. We should get some cleaning done.”

“Since when has the one who lives in a cave cared about cleanliness?” inquires the heart.

“Yeah, what is your interest in all this? We never agree on anything,” retorts the brain.

“No, you know, like I mean its good to be clean and stuff, you know,” stammers the libido. “Plus, if the place is looking great tomorrow she will be impressed.”

“Aha! I knew you were up to something,” shouts the brain. “What makes you think she is coming back to the house tomorrow? We are going OUT on a date. There is no reason to come back to the house with her.”

“There is only one reason to get her back to the house, but it is a really good one,” promises the libido.

“I wouldn’t mind having her back to the house,” adds the heart with a sly smile. “I like being around her.”

“Stop the two of you. The libido is not interested in getting her anywhere but in the bedroom, heart. And we can be around her outside the house,” scolds the brain. “Besides, if we clean in preparation for some expected tryst, aren’t we just validating the libido’s wrongful intentions and facilitating them? Wouldn’t it be better for her to see us as are true self?” The brain is the brain for a reason. It knows the heart cannot stomach the idea of hurting this woman, and as the emotional center is very prone to reverse psychology.

“Hey!” shouts the body. “Do we get any say in this? I don’t want to clean right now, probably not later either. Then I can sit and relax.” The rest all know the body can choose lazy over anything, so it is readily ignored.

“You better rest up, but after we clean up around here,” laughs the libido. “I mean, come on you guys, the hands have been helping out when they can, but it has been too long for all of us. Where is your passion?”

The brain can’t help but want the house clean. It is the true keeper of order and function in this place. But, if not cleaning would thwart the evil and carnal desires of the libido, maybe it serves a higher purpose. The heart will be admired as its true self, the body can be consigned to lesser chores (hopefully productive), and the lustful assault of the libido will be spared this fair maiden.

The brain settles to the task of writing. That makes the heart happy. The hands have something non-strenuous to keep them occupied. And the brain can focus on something other than cleaning for the moment. Everybody is happy, or at least content.

And the poor libido is left pacing outside his cave. Allowing the brain and others to have their perceived victory, he bides his time knowing full-well that the house being clean is no hurdle to his wiles. If anything, he can use it to belie his true intentions from his prey. Fawning how he didn’t clean up the house, because his gentlemanly nature would never allow him to presume that they would return here for anything physical. “If I had known we would come back here…” his practiced mantra. Put her at ease in her surroundings, keep her within reach, then give the brain the rest of the night off. The heart has no choice when the animal takes lead and haplessly follows down the path, only feeling the warm and fuzzies. The hands and body will, for once, want to go to work. And the mouth will be lost in its own wants and desires. The libido mutters to no one, “Stupid brain. All you got was a dirty house. Nice try!”

7 Responses to “My Dirty House”
  1. A great second “chapter”. I’m looking very forward to the next one!

  2. meenawalia says:

    Waiting for more to come..

    • Brad Osborne says:

      Thank you Meena! It appears others are interested in seeing more chapters too. I didn’t start this as a series or multi-chapter story, but I now recognize the appeal. I will endeavor to provide continuation and hope you will follow along with the same enjoyment!

Check out what others are saying...
  1. […] By popular request, the sequel to this story can be found in the post: My Dirty House […]

  2. […] Feel free to read the prequels to this story at “In My House” and “My Dirty House”. […]

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